Oh! There You Are Peter!

My friend Justine said that to me when I told her about this website. It’s been ringing in my head ever since. I love Hook, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t, but man what a scene. Peter Banning has an incredibly stressful job that makes being present impossible and then the worst happens. His children are taken and he was no idea what to do. Then in the whirlwind of terror he’s whisked away to a land he is supposed to remember and chased by feral kids to boot! 

But one kid’s kindness is all that is needed. He pulls away the wrinkles growing up gave Peter and then says those famous words; “Oh there you are Peter!” 

He then has to work to remember who he was. What a mind blowing moment, because that is where I feel like I am, where I have been for a very long time. Growing up also gave me wrinkles. It gave me real love, real heartbreak, financial stresses and more power than I ever thought I’d have. It gave me knowledge, humility, guilt and the ability to set boundaries. It also gave me my biggest dreams; a loving husband, two beautiful children, a safe place to call home and friends I trust enough to call family. Even with all of that, I feel like I have a lot of work to do to discover who I am, who I was and who I am becoming. 

This past year has been the most whirlwind I have encountered in a long time. I lost my mom and was remembering the one year anniversary of her passing when I decided it made more sense for us to sell our house and rent for a little while so we could become debt free. It hit everyone harder than I thought. The kids were upset, my husband was depressed and I was shoved back into survival mode. The quiet of the rental, away from our old life, also gave me space to see some relationships clearly. It was during that time I lost a very close friend. It's the weirdest feeling to miss something that was toxic for you, though it wasn’t the first time I’ve felt that. 

That’s when my oldest friend, Aubrey, moved to a small town about an hour and a half away from the metropolis we live in. We went to visit and an idea sparked. This town was actually where my husband and I started dating. It was where he first told me he loved me. We brought up moving there and almost instantly that became our new goal. 

We looked at a lot of houses, but there was one that stuck out. A swiss styled blue family home on a quarter acre lot. I loved it before we even visited and seeing it in person really solidified it. It was above what we could offer but they accepted with our max amount and a heartfelt letter I wrote. Hello debt again! 

While we were in the midst of moving in we lost a very important member of our family, our Aunt Karen. It was truly devastating on so many accounts. She was the mother of six of our closest cousins, and her passing happened so fast. No one was ready. It was such a bittersweet winter. All I could do was be present and remind myself that the uncertainty was just a phase. 

Then in January my husband lost his job. 

Talk about the rug being ripped out from under us. We had literally made our first mortgage payment. There’s no one to blame when you work for a major tech company and mass layoffs happen every once in a while. 

So as I sat with the panic of this change, all my deferred dreams; my writing, my homesteading, proving my worth as an author came rushing back. I realized: 'Well, if your husband losing his job doesn’t get you to publish a book, I don’t know what would.”

So here I am, right at the start of my Neverland, not perfect at all. Starting a website, a blog, a story, a life where I grow. Where it is okay for me to explore with the freedom to fail, to not be a master of all…yet.

I am excited to start the first stories of Korvethis. I hope it is something people look forward to reading every week. I am beginning the start of my homesteading dreams with potatoes, herbs and quails. I am still on track to publish my first book, Athena, by this summer. And I am choosing to be present with my husband, children, friends and family. I have found myself again, and I’m excited to work on showing the world who I am.